I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
