yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
