I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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