You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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