Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
