So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
