I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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