is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
