If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
