this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
how does that bad decision feel?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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