im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
