my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
God, I missed his penis.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
