i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
