My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
