I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
