I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
