Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
