who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
