youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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