Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
that may or may not have been my penis.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
