How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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