how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
