Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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