OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
