Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
