I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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