Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
