Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
