Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
