their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
