I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
