We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
