I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
