Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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