i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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