im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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