just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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