Yo dont text me then not text me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
