The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
