She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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