Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
