so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
