you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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