Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
