Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
