Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
