things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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