i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
