I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
