I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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