Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
