also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
