doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
