oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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